Redemption
by cmaddict
Summary: Continuation of my last story Together. Hotch is suffering from more than a hole in his chest. Please R&R! Disclaimer since I forgot to include it: Characters within are property of the producers of Criminal Minds.


Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner groaned in pain as he readjusted himself on the couch. His whole body ached, a side effect from a bullet slamming into his body. He winced again as his hand brushed the bandage over his chest.

Haley was at work, so Hotch was alone with the TV and his thoughts. "You need rest to recover," Gideon had said. "Just get healed, and then you can come back to work." What Hotch wouldn't tell him is that he didn't really want to go back to work.

Hotch would never forget his friend's face at the hospital. Gideon had looked exhausted with worry. Everyone had. Elle's face had been thinner than normal, Morgan had had dark circles under his eyes, Reid had looked like he hadn't slept in days, and J.J.'s eyes had lost their normal sparkle. They had gathered around his hospital bed and talked for hours. Morgan had even wiped a few tears from his eyes. Hotch had smiled inwardly. It was nice to know he was cared about.

It had been three weeks since he was shot. Hotch couldn't get up enough energy to do anything. He could still see Elle and Morgan tumbling to the ground, and he could see the perp's face as he had raised the gun. And Hotch- Special Agent Aaron Hotchner, former prosecutor- couldn't do a thing about it. Hotch had been mentally kicking himself since he woke up at the hospital.

A knock at the door broke through his thoughts.

Hotch tried to ignore it.

"Hotch?" a familiar voice said through the door. "It's Reid. Open the door, Hotch."

Hotch pulled himself off the couch and groaned again. He opened the door and squinted in the light.

Dr. Spencer Reid stood in front of him, grinning.

"What?"

"I like the new look," Reid said, his eyes laughing.

Hotch glanced down. He suddenly realized he was wearing nothing but a t-shirt and boxer shorts.

"Good thing you aren't Elle," Hotch said, opening the door wider. "Come in."

Reid walked past him and looked appraisingly around the living room. A table held Hotch's pain medication and several books. Reid pushed aside a pair of pants on the couch and sat down. Hotch eased himself back on the couch.

"So, Reid, what are you doing here?"

Reid shrugged his thin shoulders. "Just checking up on you."

Hotch nodded. "How's everything going?"

Reid shrugged again. "Pretty good." He paused. "Everyone misses you. They're wondering when you're coming back."

Hotch locked eyes with the young genius. "Why?"

Reid didn't look away. "Well, you're important to us. We need you back."

Hotch looked away, unable to keep Reid's gaze. "Well…uh, the doctor told me I needed some recovery, so…I've got to recover."

"It's been three weeks, Hotch."

"Yeah, well, I didn't expect you'd understand!" Hotch wheeled on Reid.

There was an awkward silence as the two agents stared at each other. Reid had a hurt look on his face. Hotch had never spoken like that before.

"Hotch, I came to talk to you. You don't have to talk, just listen."

Hotch glared at the young man.

"You know, sometimes, when we get hurt physically, we have emotional scarring." Reid watched as Hotch stiffened. "You're a top agent, yet you were shot while performing your duty. It was a big blow to you." Hotch began to soften. "Suddenly you begin to doubt your own ability to protect yourself…and others."

Hotch glanced at him, the anger in his eyes gone.

"Elle and Derek were there with you. You're reliving what happened, wondering if they could have also been hurt."

Hotch slumped in his chair. "So now you're profiling me?" he asked weakly.

Reid shook his head and went over to him. He hesitantly put an arm around the elder agent. "You know, you won't feel better unless you talk about it."

Hotch sighed, and then there was silence. Reid just sat there, waiting, his arm around his friend.

"I felt…" Hotch began. "I felt that I had abandoned them. They needed me, and I let them down."

Reid shook his head vehemently. "No, you didn't, Hotch! You did what you could."

Hotch looked at him, tears in his eyes. "I couldn't even protect myself! What makes me think that I can protect anyone else?"

Reid squeezed his shoulder. "Because I know you, Hotch. So you happened to get shot this once? So what! You're human, you're not perfect. Elle and Morgan know that. Gideon knows that." He locked eyes with Hotch. "What happened changes nothing about you. You're still a great agent…and you're still our friend. And nothing is ever going to change the last one."

Reid stood, his hand still on Hotch's shoulder. "Look, I've got to go. My lunch break ends soon." He bent down to look Hotch in the eye. "It's your choice. If you want emotional healing, you're going to have to do it yourself. But remember this one thing. It takes more courage to try and fail than to never try at all."

Reid turned to go.

"Spence?" Reid turned back around to see Hotch standing by the couch. Hotch smiled. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Reid smiled. "I thought you might say that." He opened the door and walked outside, squinting in the bright sunlight. He smiled at Hotch again, and shut the door behind him.

Hotch stood in the middle of the living room. He took a deep breath. And this time, it didn't hurt.

"**Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear- not absence of fear."- Mark   
Twain.**


End file.
